“Monetary gifts are certainly acceptable these days. In fact, they’re a thoughtful way of giving the recipient the freedom to choose his or her own gift.”
Emily Post
It’s not uncommon these days to give a bride and groom a gift card as their wedding gift. In fact on most registries there is a box to check if brides are willing to accept such cards. And we don’t know about you, but when we got married those cards were like gold! Sure, it’s fun to open gifts - especially if you chose them specifically for your new home - but it’s even more fun to go out and buy something new for your new life together, especially if it’s not bought with money right out of your pocket. There are also several cultures that set aside time in the reception to shower the couples with actual money, which every couple gladly accepts. Bridal couples should remember, however, that guests shouldn’t be told about this tradition in advance.
A recent LWPI Facebook poll found that many certified wedding and event coordinators are working with couples who are paying for their own weddings. That means that money gifts are sure to be welcomed. Plus, as the average age of a married couple increases, and as more couples live together before marriage, they have probably already set up house and don’t need as many traditional wedding and shower gifts. You’re likely to run into couples who want advice on how to ask for money as gifts, and to know whether it’s even appropriate.
We don’t like to see any kind of gift request on the actual wedding invitation. The wedding is a time for the couple’s friends to join in their celebration, and the reception in itself is a gift to the couple’s friends and family. The best way to spread the word about a money request is to do so through shower invitations and word of mouth. About.com recommends this great phrase: “They’re registered at WeddingGeeGaws, but I also know they are saving for a down payment on a house.” Perfect. And to make it even more official you may want to mention to your couples that SunTrust Mortgage, for example, offers a Mortgage Wedding Industry. Buying a home is a good investment, and most wedding guests would probably be pleased to know that their money is going to something substantial (rather than a set of towels for a guest bathroom!)
We’re also seeing couples set up honeymoon registries, but we find these a bit more tricky because in most cases they need to be fulfilled before the wedding. Couples may be interested in letting shower guests know about such a registry, however. If your couple goes this route - and many travel agents offer such a service - make sure you find out about hidden fees that could be taken right out of the gift money. You’ll also want to find out about travel insurance, such as what happens if the honeymoon (or wedding) is canceled? And do they get to keep the money? We highly recommend that you do your research before going with any specific honeymoon registry.
We’ve also run across such sites as Deposit a Gift, which is in their own words “is (a) cash gift registry service. We provide the tools to build a unique registry and free custom event site, all in one place. Create a gift list for monetary contributions towards dreams and experiences you want most: from honeymoons to home down payments, cribs to college funds!” We can definitely see some value in that, but we had to admit that it’s a tricky bit of information to spread to guests.
What do you think? Is it acceptable for bridal couples to request money? Does the mention of such registries on an invitation make your skin crawl? Have you had any couples ask you for advice, or have you tried to prevent them from mentioning money on their wedding invitations?
* Image courtesy of Making History: The Campaign for Penn.*
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